Church wedding is a waste of mental and financial resources- Nigerian pastor
By Al Akhigbe
I did my traditional wedding, perfected it in a registry and went further to wed in a church.
If I knew better, I wouldn't have gone as far as church wedding (whatever that means.) It's a total waste of mental and financial resources [notice I didn't include spiritual in the list. It's deliberate and I'll tell you why.] Suffice to say,
"And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:"
A couple of years ago, my younger sister was to wed. I gave all the support I could. I was involved in the traditional wedding and granted them permission to do the church wedding in the young man's family church. I don't force my belief on people.
On the wedding day, we were all in the church. I had expected to be called to give her hand out in marriage, as her guardian and father figure.
I was shocked when a total stranger was called out in my stead. I watched in amazement as he acted as my sister's father and sponsor. I didn't want to spoil their day, so, I kept my cool. After all, we've done the traditional. That's importanter.
In the reception, same thing repeated itself. I was like a stranger in my sister's wedding. It was the worst ceremony I've ever attended. I was seething with anger and my wife was having a hard time calming me down.
I called the MC to make an announcement for me. He refused. I seized the microphone and announced that since the church didn't know the law and ethics in marriage and went ahead to wed people without the parents of the girl, we were leaving. But before we go, we the family of the girl have some gifts for the couple. The church should wait to hear from our lawyers.
Thank God for my family. We had a brand new car decirated and parked outside, unknown to anyone, as wedding gift. Some of my cousins brought refrigerator and other appliances which we had heaped up behind the car.
Everywhere scattered. Tears of joy, not just from the couple, but from others that couldn't believe such magnanimity was possible in a Buhari economy and by the farmer's family.
My wife and I had decided that, instead of wasting money on wedding that'll add no value to their marriage, we'd give them something to start life with. And we bought a car.
The so-called sponsor, a prominent lawyer, the church leaders and the family were now running up and down, trying to appeal to us. The sponsor begged that he was not informed that my sister had a prominent person in town.
Bottomline is:
The church, a Catholic church, will not wed anyone except the person gets a sponsor, who must be a member of the church. And the church will fraudulently lend a father or mother, at a price. Business.
So, understand me when I say church is business. This is not a Pentecostal church now o.
Let me tell you, traditional wedding is the real deal. For official documentation and legalisation, the civil registry is all you need. Any other type of wedding is a mere jamboree, devoid of spiritual connotations.
After settling with the parents traditionally or going through the ritual in the registry, you can organize a reception at a location of your choice. If you so believe in the pronouncement of your religious leader, invite him to the occasion.
That's how it was done in the bible. Read it for yourself and check if weddings were done in the church. Even Jesus and his disciples were invited to weddings in houses and not synagogues. The first miracle Jesus performed was in a wedding he was invited to in Cana of Galilee. Can't we see we're being deceived to scorn ourselves?
What blessing can be more than parental blessing?
Why will a church arrogate all importance to itself and make you to begin to denigrate your family? It's all about the money!
Al Akhigbe, an ex-pastor writes from Lagos
I did my traditional wedding, perfected it in a registry and went further to wed in a church.
If I knew better, I wouldn't have gone as far as church wedding (whatever that means.) It's a total waste of mental and financial resources [notice I didn't include spiritual in the list. It's deliberate and I'll tell you why.] Suffice to say,
"And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:"
A couple of years ago, my younger sister was to wed. I gave all the support I could. I was involved in the traditional wedding and granted them permission to do the church wedding in the young man's family church. I don't force my belief on people.
On the wedding day, we were all in the church. I had expected to be called to give her hand out in marriage, as her guardian and father figure.
I was shocked when a total stranger was called out in my stead. I watched in amazement as he acted as my sister's father and sponsor. I didn't want to spoil their day, so, I kept my cool. After all, we've done the traditional. That's importanter.
In the reception, same thing repeated itself. I was like a stranger in my sister's wedding. It was the worst ceremony I've ever attended. I was seething with anger and my wife was having a hard time calming me down.
I called the MC to make an announcement for me. He refused. I seized the microphone and announced that since the church didn't know the law and ethics in marriage and went ahead to wed people without the parents of the girl, we were leaving. But before we go, we the family of the girl have some gifts for the couple. The church should wait to hear from our lawyers.
Thank God for my family. We had a brand new car decirated and parked outside, unknown to anyone, as wedding gift. Some of my cousins brought refrigerator and other appliances which we had heaped up behind the car.
Everywhere scattered. Tears of joy, not just from the couple, but from others that couldn't believe such magnanimity was possible in a Buhari economy and by the farmer's family.
My wife and I had decided that, instead of wasting money on wedding that'll add no value to their marriage, we'd give them something to start life with. And we bought a car.
The so-called sponsor, a prominent lawyer, the church leaders and the family were now running up and down, trying to appeal to us. The sponsor begged that he was not informed that my sister had a prominent person in town.
Bottomline is:
The church, a Catholic church, will not wed anyone except the person gets a sponsor, who must be a member of the church. And the church will fraudulently lend a father or mother, at a price. Business.
So, understand me when I say church is business. This is not a Pentecostal church now o.
Let me tell you, traditional wedding is the real deal. For official documentation and legalisation, the civil registry is all you need. Any other type of wedding is a mere jamboree, devoid of spiritual connotations.
After settling with the parents traditionally or going through the ritual in the registry, you can organize a reception at a location of your choice. If you so believe in the pronouncement of your religious leader, invite him to the occasion.
That's how it was done in the bible. Read it for yourself and check if weddings were done in the church. Even Jesus and his disciples were invited to weddings in houses and not synagogues. The first miracle Jesus performed was in a wedding he was invited to in Cana of Galilee. Can't we see we're being deceived to scorn ourselves?
What blessing can be more than parental blessing?
Why will a church arrogate all importance to itself and make you to begin to denigrate your family? It's all about the money!
Al Akhigbe, an ex-pastor writes from Lagos
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